


salad.

by yandereshit



Series: Readerland [11]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: F/M, kinda crack but not exactly, salad lololol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 12:02:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15509451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yandereshit/pseuds/yandereshit
Summary: It's just some salad thing I wrote 3 years ago but translated to english now.It may be a bit weird as it's translation but I tried, ok?I was kinda immature at that time... but still. I did my best uwu





	salad.

Evening ritual always looked the same. The very moment the night fell upon the city – which happened quite late during summer – you showered and, wearing your cute pink pajamas, you took out the cucumber-meat salad from the fridge and pouring its small amount into a special, porcelain bowl and putting a spoon inside as well, using the lack of interest from your parents’ side, you quietly left the flat, wearing your plushy flip-flops to stay warm and quiet at once.

Luckily, no neighbor has seen you in this weird state. This time your hair was still wet, which made you even more willing to stay unnoticed. You went up the six-floor building and opened the roof’s door. According to the ritual, you’ll sit at the edge of the roof and, staring at the bright, night city, eat the heavenly gift as known as your mommy’s salad.

The door creaked when you stepped outside. The wind started to move chaotically, unwittingly drying your hair. You shook your head, trying to move the strands aside to clear your sight, because the wind hit you from behind, covering your face with the mess of hair. And when you finally managed to do so… well.

“Huh? You’re not Magenta-san.”

_Eeee_ _h_ _...?_

You looked up and stared at the silhouette standing a few meters away and staring back at you with concern on his face.

Magenta, Magenta, Magenta... Um…

“It’s shade of pink…?” you guessed, reminding yourself of the hours spent in Ikea on choosing the right color for the curtains.

The silhouette blinked, a bit disoriented. He scanned over your body and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket, tilting his head to the side with a smile and apparently waiting for what YOU were about to do.

“I… u-um...” you stuttered, because the man was standing in your way to your favorite spot on the roof. “I wanted to eat only...” you muttered and, with your face red from embarrassment _(wind, why are you not covering my face NOW?!)_ you circled around the person and sat with crossed legs at the edge of the roof, about to start your meal.

There was a silence. You took a bit of the salad on the spoon, stared at it and sighed deeply, trying to suppress the will to look around at the stranger. You probably should ask him what he’s doing here. But right now, you definitely preferred to take care of the salad and assume… that you’ll keep ignoring him till he goes away. The taste of your favorite meal was so tempting that you really wanted to believe it’ll just work.

One way or another, you lived here since forever. Officially, no one was allowed to enter the roof. And this stranger definitely wasn’t a neighbor since you’ve never seen him before.

You pressed your lips together, putting the spoon in the bowl and carefully taking the phone out from your pocket. You raised it to your eyes’ level to use the reflection to see the other person behind you.

But as it seemed, the person disappeared from your sight. You shrugged, putting your phone aside and finally deciding to take care of the salad.

“You have a cute dog” you heard suddenly right behind yourself and jumped (quite comically, considering you were sitting), letting go of the spoon and miraculously not losing the bowl as well. The spoon screamed drastically and a few seconds later, landed as a bloody stain on the pavement dozens of meters lower. Or maybe you just imagined that. Either way, you lost it.

“Oh dang it” you muttered, standing up and turning around, only to notice that SOMEONE barely a meter further stared at the screen of a phone. You glanced at the spot next to yourself. And yes, it was YOUR phone. You had the photo of your dog on your lock screen.

Automatically, you reached in the thief’s direction, he though, not even looking up, spun around, whirling away from your grasp. It forced you to use more strength and as a result, you lost your balance. And before you managed to stop, both you and the salad’s bowl flied in the floor’s direction.

However, unlike you, the bowl never met the ground. But a few moments later you realized in terror that the stranger has two hostages now. And – by the way – that the roof is quite dirty and you’ll have to take a shower again.

“Give back my salad!” you yelled in annoyance. Well _, priorities differ_. The stranger snorted and moved away a bit more, extending the hand with the phone in your direction. You hesitantly took it and put in the pocket, but it was obviously not enough. You wanted your salad!

In the meanwhile, the man moved aside and started eating the salad with his fingers.

You screamed in despair, feeling the anger boil inside of you. _No one. Is. Allowed. To. Touch. Your. Salad._

You raised your fist in attempt to hit the man’s face. At that moment, the food lost its value. The revenge was what you craved for. It was a fight for honor.

Unfortunately, the man dodged. You tried to hit him a few more times, then kick, you generally tried everything you could. And he – barely amused – without hurry dodged all your attacks, making sure that nothing would happen to the salad and (if that was not enough) he even found time to keep eating it. _At least he was aware what kind of treasure he’s holding!_

Eventually, you let out a weird, frustrated growl and grasped his jacket with both hands, putting all your strength in not letting go. But he didn’t even try to break free.

“And what now?” he asked with a childish smile on his face, watching every single feature of your silhouette. Ah well. Your hands were busy. The first thing you thought of was kicking him, but he quickly made you unable to do so, standing on your toes. Your flip flops had no chance in comparison to normal shoes so an attempt to break free turned futile.

You pressed your lips together, thinking of literally ANY possibility to rub that annoying smile off his face. And finally, when the man probably thought you’re about to give up… you pulled him to yourself and with all the strength left, bit into his neck

He screamed, letting go of the bowl which shattered on the ground.

"O-oi, it hurts!ヘ（。□°）ヘ", he whimpered, trying to push you off himself. But it made him only hurt more, because you bit into him like some tick. He closed his eyes tightly, focusing on bearing the pain.

Suddenly, you felt a weird, metallic taste. Not fitting to the bitter taste of his cologne you were feeling for the few seconds till now. You pulled your teeth out of his neck, staring in disbelief at the slightly bleeding wound on your victim’s neck.

“Finally...” the “victim” muttered, flopping onto the ground.

“Um...” you whimpered, covering your mouth with your hand. You licked over your lips, and then… “Oh my God! I will catch something!” you yelled, spatting out as much of your saliva as you could. You started to cough in despair.

The man glared at you, carefully touching the wound. The skin in that place was weirdly jelly in touch. He stared at you for some time, clearly not willing to interrupt.

You in the meanwhile, hardly got yourself together and finally stared at him angrily.

“Youuu...”

“You’re not done yet?!” he asked in panic, covering his neck with hands.

“Look at what you’ve done!” you yelled, pointing the shattered bowl and your dead salad around it. “You killed it!”

“You bit me!” he noticed, standing up and brushing the dust off his trausers.

“I-it was in self-defense!” you announced. “And because you stole it from me! You’re the guilty one!

He sighed, rolling his eyes, which for some reason pissed you off even more. You gathered the rest of your despair and you were about to throw yourself at him once again… when something glistened in front of your eyes and stopped by your neck, informing you that any attempt to move will end tragically. Your heart stopped for a short second and you held your breath, as if fearing that any uncontrolled movement can cause something you pretty much didn’t want to happen. You felt a slight pressure and backed away in panic, tripping and landing back on the ground.

“Maybe I should return the favor, vamp?” he suggested enthusiastically (which seemed, in your opinion, pretty creepy), tilting his head so that you could see the wound on his neck. And it looked pretty _ugly_. The scar would probably stay there for a few weeks or even months...

He stared at you for a few moments, analyzing the emotions appearing on your face. Shock, then confusion, still lasting anger mixed with fear for your life. The man you just really painfully bit stood in front of you with a blade pointing at your throat, ready to end your life with a short movement. Every blow of the wind made you feel as if he’s already done so.

Not a comfortable situation.

You stared at him as well. He looked like some creepypasta sociopath. Actually, he looked like one from the very beginning. His dark eyes moved slowly along your silhouette, analyzing every single piece of your body. He seemed to seep through you with his stare, yet his face stayed firm. His arrogant smirk distracted you.

Suddenly, he put the knife in the pocket of his jacket and stepped back, not looking away from your face.

He chuckled.

“There, you don’t have to be scared… that much. I’m glad I could see that many of your emotions in such a short amount of time. They were really entertaining.” He laughed and turned around, moving away as if he couldn’t care less about what you were about to do. “And now excuse me, there’s one more person I need to play with today.”

You let out an annoyed grumble and got up, eventually ignoring him and going to the building’s door. Then finally it got to you, how late, cold and windy it became in the meanwhile.

“Ah, one more thing” the man added suddenly, just before you closed the door behind yourself. “Next time, I’d like to also see you laugh.”

As if on call, you laughed.

Hysterically.

You shut the door behind yourself and went back to your flat. You entered the kitchen, took out the whole pot of the salad and, reaching for a new spoon, decided to take all the accumulated anger out on your digestive system.


End file.
